Are they natural?

First, wtf? How is this a remotely acceptable question to ask a stranger, or even an acquaintance or friend? They are clearly my babies. How they came to be so is none of your damn business.

Second, what does that even mean? Are they natural human children? Are they robots? Zombies? Why not just ask what you really want to know: “Are these two babies the result of sperm(s) meeting egg(s) after intercourse with my husband?” Because it’s an unbelievably rude question that no one with even a modicum of social skills would ever ask, that’s why (see paragraph 1 above).

Even so, I will answer it.

No, neither my twins nor my three-year old are the result of the standard operating procedure for making babies. We tried that. Very long story short , it didn’t work for us. So, we got help. Science is an amazing thing. I heart science.

We ended up doing IUIs for both pregnancies, which is one (giant) step below IVF. Think turkey baster, but without having to hang out with your in-laws (good) but also no watching football (bad). Not exactly how I pictured conceiving my beloved children but, you know, it worked. We got pregnant on our first try with our first-born, which is like winning the infertility lottery (what a sad concept that is).

The second time around, we had three failed IUI attempts over the course of three months. It was brutal. Basically, our doctor wanted us to move on to IVF but also offered the alternative of one more IUI attempt with injectible hormones for me. I was hesitant. Partly because they idea of giving myself shots in the stomach made me want to throw up but mostly because using the hormones would significantly increase our chance of having multiples. I was really really freaked out about the idea of having more than one baby at the same time. I had serious postpartum anxiety struggles the first time around and I couldn’t fathom holding my shit together while dealing with twice the baby. But, I also really wanted another baby. And so did my husband. And I couldn’t imagine our son not having a sibling to love and tackle and fight over the car with. So, we rolled the dice.

And we lost, or won, depending on how I’m feeling on any given day. Mostly it feels like winning now. Our babies are healthy and adorable and so beloved by their older brother it’s sometimes dangerous (he is a daycare plague carrier of the first order).

So no, my twins are not “natural” in the sense that most people mean when they use that term, but they are just as much a part of my heart as anyone’s babies can possibly be. Nothing else matters.

One thought on “Are they natural?

  1. As someone smart I know always says: Better living through chemistry (and also apparently through turkey basters).
    I love this. And you. And all the babes.


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