That’s what I am looking for, what this has come to. I want anything but my current life of dirty diapers and no sleep and whining threenager and busy partner. I want anything but this life of scheduling naps and scheduling meals and never ending laundry and diminishing sleep returns. I want more real laughing and less crying in the shower. More genuine smiling and less swallowing the lump in my throat before pushing out that cheerful “hi, how was your day?” I’m reaching the end of my rope here and I don’t know whether to hang myself or jump.
Maybe this was just never meant to be. Maybe I am the wrong person in the wrong life. The wrong mother and the wrong wife. Fooling myself all along that I could ever do this, or even want.