Tell me

Tell me your story, tell me your pain, tell me it almost broke you but didn’t. 

Tell me how you made it through the hard parts. What helped and what didn’t.

Tell me I will make it, too. Tell me how. Tell me where to start at least, or where to stop.

Tell me this is all just my hormones fucking with me and it will magically right itself in just a matter of days or even months.

Tell me I can do those. That I can want this. Forever. That each step forward is a step toward making a life here, in this way. That I am not loosing something I never even had but gaining what has been there waiting for me all along. Patient and loving and hard and exhausting but perfect in its way. Convince me, please, that I want to go home tonight.

5 thoughts on “Tell me

  1. i’ve been through two years in the dark…and i swear, i’m starting to see the light.

    my hormones and nutrients were all in the tank. along with therapy (fucking torture) and working with my wellness doc to get me balanced…i’m starting to feel whole again.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My SIL and I each work PT on opposite schedules, meaning that on our days “off,” we tpically have all our combined kids: 5, 4, 3, and 18 mo. It is a lot, but the hands-down worst was when we had only three between us and they were 2, 6 mo., and 2 mo. Almost every day I had them, I was at the end of my rope. My SIL was the same. We cried. We told our husbands we couldn’t do it anymore. I would have gladly retaken the bar exam to avoid my days off. And then, a switch flipped when baby #3 hit 7 months. The littles started crawling, interacting, and loving each other. They are now thick as thieves and “cousin-friends.” And it is absolutely worth the dark mornings where I cried while simultaneously nursing my baby and bottle-feeding my darling neice.

    Liked by 1 person

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