There are days, like today, when my finger just itches to push it: the big red button that will blow up my life. Why is self-destruction so seductive?
But then, how could I ever be so selfish? I have children now, the ultimate game changer in terms of life responsibilities. They must be protected, at all costs.
My life isn’t mine to fuck with anymore. I need to grow up. Stop fantasizing about things that will never be and stop taking bets I can’t afford to lose.
This is it. There simply is no button anymore–a thought both terrifying and comforting. The only choice is to move forward; let go of the rest.