I’m trying so hard to get better that I’m afraid I’ve gone too far. Too many pills, too many appointments, too much money, too much time spent in my own head.
What if I just stopped all of this and focused instead on the people around me? On my husband and my children; my parents and my siblings. That seems like such a better use of my time, my money, my mind, my heart.
I know the whole oxygen mask mantra–how you’re supposed to help yourself first in order to help those around you–but I’m sick of myself. I think maybe there’s actually nothing wrong except my inability to suck it up and get on with life.
Maybe that’s the way to get better. Stop trying.