Sometimes the bad feelings follow the good so quickly it makes my head spin. One minute I’m fine, better than fine, nearly myself again. The next minute, I’m an anxious, tearful mess, only looking for whatever might numb my feelings quickly enough so that my family doesn’t notice. 

What the hell is going on? I’m so fucking tired of this bullshit. It’s been six months since the babies came. Enough with the postpartum shit already. And yes, I was crazy before the babies, but not like this. Never like this. At least not for such a sustained period of time. I don’t know what to do. I feel like we’ve tried everything. I’m scared nothing will work. I’m really scared.

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