Half a year has gone by since the twins were born. How is that possible? It seems like they just got here. They still feel so new to me. Not like my oldest. He’s always been with me, or at least it seems that way. I wonder if I will always feel this way, like my second and third child are some how newcomers to our little family of three. I don’t think so. In time, it will feel as though all three have always been with us, always been a part of my life.
But for now I am in that strange in-between place. I feel like a mother of three and yet I don’t. In my head I’m still a 20 something or even a teenage misfit, just trying to sort myself out. Will that ever go away completely? Probably not. And I suppose that’s OK. Continuing to sort myself out at the same time that I help my kids figure out who they are isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe it’s an opportunity to show them how to do it with more self compassion and self-love than I’ve shown myself in the past.
We are all in this together after all.