Constantly I come across jokes about this topic: basically, this parenting gig ain’t so bad so long as I don’t have to do it sober. Part of me fears that we are all raging alcoholics. The other part finds comfort among like-minded parents who apparently won’t judge me for needing a glass of wine, or three, to make it through my days at home alone with the twins. It’s just that my anxiety basically goes through the roof whenever it’s just me in charge. I want to peel off my own skin. Instead, I drink. Not too excess but enough to feel it. Am I a horribly irresponsible parent or just one among thousands taking measures to make it all work? I hope the latter but fear the former. Am I an alcoholic? I honestly don’t know. I don’t think so. But I also don’t feel like my drinking habits are particularly healthy. Maybe it will all pass as they get older? Maybe not. Fuck this shit. Who knows the answer to anything?